I once met Sinitta. I've always had a soft spot for her, due to the fact that we share the same birthday. Anyway, when I lived in Australia I met her in Sydney. I literally climbed over seats so I could go and speak to her (she was with Nick from Neighbours at the time too!). In my head the conversation would go like this:
"Hello Sinitta, I'm Jennie -how are you?" "Oh hey Jennie, thanks for taking the time to say hello- I'm pretty surprised to be recognised actually seeing as we are 10000km from home." "Of course I recognise you! You were a huge star- plus we share a birthday so I've always had a soft spot for you" etc etc.... then we would probably exchange email addresses, send cards to one another on our birthday and maybe she would even invite me to capital city to meet Simon Cowell. In reality it went like this: "Hi Sinitta, great to meet you, I'm Jennie" Sinitta mutters hello, then looks over my head and clearly has no interest in pursuing any conversation. What a cowbag! I'd climbed over chairs to meet her! I was so gutted I even forgot to say hello to Nick from Neighbours- I hope he wasn't too upset! Over the past couple of weeks, I've had another conversation that messed with my brain nearly as much as my none convo with Sinitta did. This time it was with my husband and it went something like this..... "Rob, are we going to try and have any more children?" Having experienced loss and then IVF this was a crazy conversation to have. The past 4 years of our lives have been so focussed on having children, that I never thought I'd ever have to have to have this conversation. We've decided not to. Truthfully we couldn't go through the potential head mess and probable heartache with trying naturally and we certainly can't afford to do IVF again. It' s weird making that decision. Although we have everything and more in our boys there's still a feeling of sadness that I'm never going to be pregnant again, we're never going to have to think about cycles, temperatures, injections and conception again. I know I sound spoilt, but it's really messed with my brain! Have you had 'the convo' yet? Maybe yours was about having more kids, or maybe to stop trying. How did it go for you?
18 Comments
Claire
10/18/2016 09:48:29 pm
💚💚 and the emotional roller coaster continues...
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:40:58 am
Yup! Xx
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Laura
10/18/2016 09:53:41 pm
Another brilliantly written blog Jen! This is a huge head and heart tussle for me. Throughout my pregnancy with Zeke, feeling terrible and having several issues...we insisted this was it-for very similar reasons to the ones you have expressed. But within days of him arriving, being healthy and me feeling much better, the thought of never carrying a baby, never having another baby, I found really hard to deal with. I was soooo broody in those early weeks of having Zeke. My head (and my bank balance) says absolutely no more....my family is complete, but boy does my heart find it difficult to accept!! I know it is the right choice though......my head and heart will just have to agree to disagree!! 😊
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Claire
10/18/2016 09:58:14 pm
💚💚
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:41:38 am
We've always got the vicarious side of life! :) xx
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Danielle
10/18/2016 10:11:04 pm
So after our recent loss we have both said that we want to continue 'trying' as soon as possible and even though we were fortunate enough to conceive naturally first time (and I realise miscarriages are very common) it has now definitely scared me. I do feel selfish for being worried that I may not be able to have more children when so many people aren't lucky enough to have any but it's how I feel! All I can say is the whole situation most definitely messes with your head!! x
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:43:19 am
I'm wishing you all the luck in the world! Everything crossed for you! It's not selfish at all- it is what it is! And it's different for everyone! Xx
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Nic
10/18/2016 10:11:53 pm
I was asked this....by a stranger.....When our little one was a week old!!! I was emotional, knackered and winced every time I sat down. It took every thing I had not to punch that old lady square in the face!
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:44:18 am
The battle of heart over reality! Good luck with that! Xx
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Kerensa
10/18/2016 10:12:40 pm
Chris and I decided the second that Cameron was put in my arms that we'd try IVF again .....for the ninth time! We really wanted more than one child. In a sense, you got lucky because you had twins - two children in one fell swoop. We didn't know when we'd be able to afford to try again, only that we definitely wanted to. Then, as if by magic, Eloise arrived. We decided to let nature take it's course and if any more children came along then so be it. Of course, no more ever did. Then only a couple of weeks ago, we were faced with a potential life changing decision as I was 7 weeks late and had pregnancy symptoms. I cried and cried because the thought of having another child at the age of 48 ( Chris is 54 ) terrified me. Our mortgage is finished next year so we'd have more money and the kids are off to college so there'd be the opportunity to spend some time together. With my spine and leg the way they are, I seriously had to consider whether I could actually carry at all. I never ever thought that I'd be praying for a negative result but that was exactly the position I found myself in. The test was negative and I was so relieved. But then I felt guilty for even feeling that way. You and Rob are years younger than Chris and I so don't put the idea of having more children to bed just yet. Whatever happens in the future, you'll always have the boys. You're more blessed than you ever thought you'd be so just enjoy it and go with the flow. Xx
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:44:31 am
Xx
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Steph
10/19/2016 03:48:53 am
Having recently given birth to our second most perfect and beautiful son we have decided there will be no more children in the future. We have an amazing family and know we are beyond lucky to have what some people can only dream of. During labour I said 'absolutely no more children I couldn't do this again!!' Yet within days perhaps hours of having Isaac I felt broody, a little sad to think I'd never experience life growing inside me. To never experience labour again (most pain ever but the most amazing experience). I love my family more than words can ever explain but there is a part of me that won't accept me never having a mother daughter relationship. Gosh I hope this doesn't sound selfish!!! I know how truly lucky we are to have our two beautiful boys xxxx
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:45:10 am
I think you can feel lucky yet still want more-and that's ok! Xx
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Sharon
10/19/2016 06:44:39 am
The famous meeting sinitta incident!! She didn't realise she was meeting someone as amazing as yourself and of course dismissed you as though you were something she had trod on! I also remember how scarred you were from this. Having a dream then having it shattered. Luckily your dream this time came true and your boys are proof that life beyond sinitta exists. As for the future you can put a full stop but sometimes it's a comma and when hormones wind down as years pass you may just find yourself crazy enough to do it all again.
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:46:27 am
I'm glad you commented! That incident will be forever etched in my mind! I'm sure I'm going to be able to get our motorbike injuries in there somewhere too! :) xx
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Sharon
10/20/2016 05:05:51 pm
Look forward to it. I'm sure a lot happened in Oz good and bad@
Lynda
10/19/2016 07:04:54 am
Another great read Jen.
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Jen
10/20/2016 09:48:01 am
I didn't glow and I paniced all the way through mine too- it's one of the (many) reasons I know I couldn't do it again. I'm really not sure my mind would cope! Xx
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Author38 year old mom of twins. That's it, my current identity in a nut shell. Archives
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