I've always wanted babies. Only at the right time. Which is why I spent the majority of my 20's setting an alarm on my phone to remind me to take a little tablet that would stop them coming at the wrong time. I was completely regimented with it, I had the alarm, would take my tablet, would do a little cough to make sure it wasn't hiding in my throat and then I'd drink a glass of water again. After all, my ability to produce offspring was never in doubt. How could it be when I myself was the product of failed contraception! My mom was on the pill when she had me! She blames a rogue toe nail and an operation to remove it....! My sister only had to think about a baby and she produced one. Which is why it was so so so so so so important to set that reminder and stop me having a baby at the wrong time.....
Turns out, my alarm setting skills weren't actually necessary- cos for me, it wasn't going to be that easy to have myself a little bambino! It would seem for me the getting pregnant bit was a bit easier (in the beginning anyway...) it was the staying pregnant that was the problem. But of course I didn't know this until well into my 30's because I had been fantastic at not getting pregnant in the first place! (still with me?!).
Journeys are important. My journey to motherhood has been bumpy. Messy. Heart breaking. But I got there in the end. I will go into more detail in the future about some of the pit stops and how I eventually managed to carry a pregnancy through. But for today I will chuckle to myself at the sheer panic I use to have if I was even one minute over taking my little anti baby making tablet, believing I was as fertile as a Jeremy Kyle guest and my body was a first class aga oven. I'm glad I can laugh now, because I'm typing this next to my two little boys fighting sleep in their cribs.